June 26, 2010

...thank you for responding to my S.O.S.

i have been sitting in wonder at all the profound comments left on my last post
about being under the influence of the "compare" gremlins.
i have so many emotions welling up deep inside me,
and try as i may to bring them to the surface in words of gratitude,
i am left speechless.
i hope you will forgive me as i am going to leave town with my family
for a few weeks...before i have even begun to thank all of you for the kindest of words.  the gentlest nudgings of encouragement.  the biggest of hugs.  the tightest holding of hands.  the lifting.  the singing.  the cartwheeling.  the boat hopping.  the lighthouse flashings.  the rah rah-ings. the feast making.  the waving of magic wands. the kicking of the "c" word to the curb.  the tossing of picnics onto my dingy boat. the peeling off of my masking tape and turning it into a giant ball. and for pulling in and out of port with me.   
i was especially touched by a reminder that "i do have talents that have inherently been given to me." i believe they are from above and by not acknowledging those talents...i am being most ungrateful.  yuck!  so when i return, i will be setting again at sea but this time i will be taking my talents with me.  owning them.  keeping them close.  getting reacquainted with one another and striving to be content with wherever my little boat  
and my talents might  chance to sail.

cul*ti*vate your talents...even if you have to dig deep for them

June 21, 2010

...on being honest with myself

ok.  i have something to admit.
i have been keeping my artist at bay.
hidden under a bushel.
masking tape over her mouth.
my problem is, i set out to sail on this vast sea of amazingly talented 
women in the world, and all of a sudden i feel as though i am a little dingy boat and everyone around me are larger than life, multi million dollar cruise liners.  
i feel insignificant.  i don.t say this to get pity. so don.t give it to me. 
{you guys are nice that way!}  it just is what it is.  
i am finally being honest with myself. 
 i have caught myself using the dreaded "c" word...COMPARE.  and it.s been hazardous on my heART health.  over the past year and a half i have made drop dead gifted artistic friends across the world.  i see their courage and their hope and their bravery at sending their works out into the universe.  
and many are seeing the fruits of their labors come back to them tenfold.  
it is so exciting to behold.  and i think to myself...
"chrissy, what is holding you back? where is the brave little artistic girl you once were?  always drawing and painting and carving and jewelry-izing 
then gifting those things to everyone around you?"
oh sure, i see glimpses of her every now and then and it.s not like i.m not making art, it.s just that it.s all piling up in my obscure little studio space....hiding.
recently i found this little gem below and it articulates in the best way possible all the things my heART would sing to you if you could only hear it.s tune.

...this is going to make your inner artist smile.

June 19, 2010

...a real live fairy tale

once upon a time there was a family who lived at the base of a very 
beautiful mountain.  they were a very busy family with three small 
rough and tumble boys.  after spending many years in school moving 
from utah to baltimore to san francisco to montana to boston...
they finally settled into a home all their own, resting in the shadows of the
wasatch peaks.  all was well.  one day the family was talking and felt that 
although this new home was indeed wonderful...something was missing.
their home needed a little girl.
so they waited and they waited and they waited.
years passed and one day the call came, a new baby girl needed a family.
and that was the beginning of a fairy tale childhood for me.
but this particular chapter of the story is about me and my dad.
i have the best dad in the whole wide world.
i never knew my dad with hair.  maybe that.s why i love bald men?
i spent more time on his shoulders than i ever did on the ground.
my dad is tall and i always felt secure and "big" when he was holding me.
{that.s important when you have three big brothers}
but my dad always took time to come down to my level too.  
we read and played dolls and i.m sure i combed what little hair he had.
my dad is a whiz with a pen.  always a poem at every event. 
 a note just to tell me he loved me and that i was a-ok in his book.
the best were his scavenger hunts {especially when there is a car at the end}
my dad took time to play with me. finding things i liked to do and joining in.
the best was one christmas morning when i awoke to find two "real"motorcycles
in the living room from "santa" with those cheesy plastic license plates
that said "howie" and "tina".
{my real name is christina...guess they were all out of chrissy.s}
i never figured out how santa got those in the house past my mom.
...and now 40 something years later...the fairy tale continues.
my dad is such a presence in my life.
even 640.35 miles can.t separate our bond.
i am so grateful for this man.  
he taught me how to work hard....and play harder.
he has taught me faith, honesty, integrity, to serve others and to be true.
he showed me how to "love" as he adored my mom until the day she died.
{and still does}

happy fathers day dad.
thank you for teaching me to cul*ti*vate all the good things in life!

June 18, 2010


it is.
go ahead.
i give you permission.

{photo from the unearth-be present retreat}

June 15, 2010

...a lesson in bravery

i.ve been thinking about a little boy i met several weeks ago 
as i was wondering the streets of ojai, california with my sweet friend kolleen.
ojai is a quaint little artist town nestled in a beautiful valley
just east of santa barbara. we had just come out of a gallery store...{ok, maybe the candy shop} and i heard this plunking sound like someone playing a cheep ukulele from a beach vendor.  we walked down a bit and there on the ground was a pair of the bluest eyes looking up at me.
we.ll call him daniel. 
daniel was all alone, sitting on a concrete ledge strummin his guitar like he owned the town.  because i.m a mother, my first instinct was to look around to see if his parents were lurking nearby.  maybe waiting quietly in their car or sitting a few benches away, reading a book, observing their son.s fearlessness.  nope. no one.  i bent down so i could look at daniel right in his soulful eyes. 
he didn.t smile.  we just looked at each other and he kept playing.
when his song was over i asked him his name.  i asked him how old he was  and how long he had been playing the guitar.  we talked about his music career and how the worst part was practicing.  i agreed.  i never liked to practice the piano when i was little, i told him.  he told me about the stickers he had placed haphazardly on his six string and then just like that, he was done talking and started playing again.  i looked down at his empty guitar case, knowing he was hoping i would throw in a few coins.
as i went to toss in some tender for his talent, he pointed to his shoe...
and i wondered if he had learned the hard way to keep the money under foot.
i silently hoped he had not.
i.ve thought lately about daniel.  about what i could learn from him.  about his bravery.  you wouldn.t catch me sittin on a curb, playing my guitar for money anytime soon.  i dont have that kind of confidence.  but daniel was comfortable with his discord.  comfortable with what he could do...even if it was plucking at some strings.  he held his head high and said to the world...
this is me...hear my song.

and we did!

{cul*ti*vate some daniel like bravery and SING YOUR SONG}

June 11, 2010

...the short end

do you ever have those days or weeks, months or even years
when you feel like you are holding the short end of the wish bone?
i wonder if we altered our perception of things a tiny bit...
and considered that "maybe"...
not getting the thing we "wished" for...
was exactly the very wish we were meant to have
at that moment in our lives...

i wonder......

{cul*ti*vate perspective}

June 8, 2010


have you ever driven the "17 mile" in monterey california?
it is drool worthy.  below is the "lone cypress".  
one of california.s oldest prevailing trees to endure the harsh winds that blow through the monterey peninsula...it.s stood for over 250 years.
because of it.s symbol of fortitude it has become the trade mark for 
pebble beach.
do you ever wonder where fortitude is born?  what gives someone the courage and strength, the "firmness of spirit" to do good or carry on, 
despite the obstacles and discouragements that inevitably cross their path?
 what do you do when trials arise or the winds seem brash and endless?
just a thought that ran through my mind as i took this photo of the
" lone cypress"

{cul*ti*vate fortitude}

June 5, 2010

...napa, muir woods & sausalito

it.s a new day!
let.s head up to wine country shall we?
{i just have to say that this is some of theeee most beautiful country 
i have ever laid eyes on...and i think most of you will laugh 
at the fact that i don.t even drink wine}
if you are ever along highway 29 in napa...stop here.
{it gets a bit crowded...}
{but the food is soooo yummy.}
also..."farmstead" restaurant in "st. helena"serves all fresh organic fare.
it.s a great place to stop for lunch.
{even the grounds were beautiful to walk around}
{i found one of my biggest "wants" pecking around there too}
{miss buff orpington...she.s so pretty}
{and her house was quite sweet too}
...and here is some chrissy wisdom...
"you should never walk by an empty swing!"
{swinging brings such inexpensive and immediate joy}
the drive home through the sonoma valley is lovely
coming up on the back view of the bay is so awesome.
 we round out the day by strolling through muir woods.
{it.s so peaceful there}
sausalito is the perfect place to finish off an adventurous day.
{and watch the sun set}
i need some good italian food for dinner.
{and i.m exhausted}
good night.

June 4, 2010

...san francisco

a week ago today, my husband and i took a much needed break 
from work and 5 kids and flew to san francisco.
in rare chrissy fashion i took way too many photos.
so i will not feel bad, if at any point you get bored, think i.m crazy
and decide to move on to the next blog on your dashboard.
{nor will i know if you actually do this}
how about if i promise to try to let the vision speak for itself...deal?
{this one deserves a post all it.s own...stay tuned}
{miss lori vliegen the next three are for you sweetheart...don.t drool}
china town is like a photographers playground.  i was in heaven.
{i love how "california" peeked through the cable car}
 that.s enough san fran eye candy for one day.
but i.m not finished...oh no! our vacation has just started!

cul*ti*vate the "permission" you need to give yourself, 
to just take a break from everyday life
and breath in some unfamiliar air!