April 20, 2010

...here. yes. park.

i.ve been thinking about friendship.
about what kind of friend i am.
do i listen more than i speak?
do i reach out before i am touched?
do i accept imperfections
as i would want my imperfections accepted?
am i being the kind of friend i would want in my life?
am i present?
do the people i love know that my heart is always open for service?
24 hours a day.  7 days a week.  365 days of the year?
even if we are miles apart?
or we.ve never met in person?
or we haven.t spoken in years?

does my heart speak...


friendships need to be cul*ti*vated.  it.s a verb.
what do you do to be a good friend?


  1. Beautiful post today! I too have been thinking about friendships lately. In the modern day of technology, I sent messages via Facebook yesterday to 3 friend I haven't spoken to or seen in way too long. I'll be making plans to get together with 2 of them. It's a start. I realize how easy it is to find yourself disconnected when life is so demanding and hectic. Happy Tuesday!

  2. Boy, do I struggle with that. We have moved often and have made good friends everywhere we lived. Add to that my new online friends and I often feel overwhelmed. If I talked to all friends who would like to on the phone, I'd be on the phone the better part of every day. It's hard being a good friend to all my friends. Some just get neglected.

    On the other hand, I tend to feel guilty when I haven't been in touch until I remember that friendship is a two-way street. Then I relax a little and give my friends a chance to do their cultivating with me.

    Balance is hard to achieve, especially in our age of instant communication!

    I am sure you are a most wonderful friend. I can feel it through your loving posts!!

    Love, Silke

  3. WHAT A FABULOUS POST my dear, dear friend!!!

    such good questions for ALL of us to ask ourselves.....thank you for putting it out there.

    as you know, i have been thinking quite a bit out friendships too. it is tough to balance all that we have in our lives and be good at every single one of them.

    you are such a wonderful friend to me. a blessing.

    i love you so

  4. Silke is right about friendships (or any relationship really) being a two-way street...

    i like to call many of my friends since i love talking on the phone =-) but i also love to send letters or cards in the mail to bring some cheer to the mailbox =-)

    i recently read in a book about how artists have a vastly different perception of time than other people so weeks and months may pass before we touch base with our friends - i think this something to keep in mind and remind our friends about us artist types. just because we aren't touching base doesn't mean our friends are not in our hearts =-)

  5. this is such a beautiful post. and the fact that you thought about it at all shows what a wonderful friend you are

  6. i go into my heart space
    & sweep out some of the dust bunnies
    & breathe
    & then go out
    & shop for a varieties of teas
    & then return.
    i put on a pot of soup
    & put in tablespoons of my imperfect colors
    & see them swirl around
    & then open the windows,
    inviting the light & breeze in.
    i then swing the door open
    & hug her.
    sometimes we also just go out for breakfast.

  7. love this post. it's touching that you think about this stuff...of course you do, you're Chrissy. :)

    i am on the opposite end of this one right now. i am the one to call, email, text, etc. one friend in particular. do i keep trying to keep the friendship going or do i let go? so...what to do, what to do...

  8. I recently had a friend say she didn't want to be friends with me anymore as she had changed. I was so deeply hurt by this. After 16 years of friendship I couldn't understand how she had suddenly changed so much that she didn't think I could be a part of that change. I accepted her decision but I would never understand it.

    I have always collected friends throughout my life and I really love how we can fall back into friendship so easily even if it has been years between get togethers.

    I know that if someday we meet it would be like we went to kindergarten together and our mothers were in the same mother's group and that kind of thing...

    I just hope I am the same kind of friend you have been to me... your words always make me smile and you make me feel better, you make me feel like I am ok.

  9. sending you love, dear chrissy!
    beautiful, beautiful post!

  10. Ahhh... great questions, Chrissy! Lots to think about!! You know, I thought that now that I'm not working I would have all of this time to really "cultivate" great friendships. It hasn't really happened because everyone else still seems too busy. also, I feel like I am moving in different directions than some of my old friends.... It's something I am thinking a lot about lately too and haven't come up with the answers. Thanks for posing some really thought-provoking questions!! Your sensitivity in just asking the questions shows what a valued friend that you are!!

  11. I finally mail something, that I intend to mail a while ago! Life keeps getting in the way!
    Thought provoking post! I try to be there, be kind, and listen! <3

  12. I've known you for 21 years and I can say easily that YES, YES YOU ALWAYS DO!


  13. I often think about these things too.
    Reaching out with an email, a text, a plate of freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I don't do this nearly often enough.
    I'm glad to call you my friend dear Chrissy♥, even though we've never met.

    Love you,

  14. I love the thought of- do I listen more than I talk? I have been trying to be so aware of this. Thank you for reminding me of friendships :)

  15. Yes Chrissy, you're heart absolutely says these things. More than you know I think.

  16. I hope I am. Though I suspect I can always do more. :)

    Sending lots of love to you!

  17. I LOVE that sign. You've got to mint that somehow . . . sell prints of it. It's perfect. You've hit on a issue that's so important to me and something I struggle with eternally seems like. I've found that if I consciously make myself stop thinking about "me" and look the other person in the eye and really try to get to know what they are all about, then they blossom before my eyes, and I get that warm fuzzy feeling of con*nec*tion. I'll remember this post . . . I think it's a philosophy to aspire to. : )

  18. Sticking by your friends through it all (good, bad and the ugly.) To me, true friendship involves unconditional love...it's that simple...it's that difficult. It's what matters most.

  19. I am a giver ..I love say I love you when I mean it. I love sending cards to see them smile if only in my mind....showing up when your most needed but not necessaraly expected..giving that ....I got your back love....thats what I try to do...I try....

  20. here.yes.park. that does say it all, doesn't it? and i think you do a fabulous job of it . that cultivation is so important, especially as we all grow and change through our lives. i've found that i've been able to cultivate more friendships online, with wonderful souls like you!, that i've been able to do in person lately. i'm much older that most of the moms of my girls' friends, so that's been a tough match. i'm still very close to all my bestest college friends, even though we don't get to see much of each other any more. but i think just taking the time to say, hey! i thought about you to today! speaks volumes. today, i just sent a note to an aquaintance at work that i'd like to get to know better. we have a lunch date scheduled for next week!

  21. Reading this post was like reading poetry :)

    I love the image you captured and how graffiti got you thinking about so many incredibly meaningful things in life :)

  22. what a thoughtful post. i try to be a good listener and yet i know i need to try harder. i have had a few friendships fizzle in the last couple of years and truly i did not understand why. however, it did make me see that it is a give and take, a see-saw and if your side never comes down, it is difficult to make it go up again. ..peace..

  23. Well said, Chrissy. A person I thought was a friend abruptly "fired" me a few months ago and I was devastated! So it got me to thinking about friendship, hence the keyring and my short post on friendship. Being present in any relationship is a good thing, and the people who are present in that relationship also make great friends!

    Now...your suitcase! I use the one on my blog for my earring displays at shows. You know the wire bars in the old Samsonites? They make great hangers for earrings! I also put old family photos in another one I have. So fill er' up, baby! An old suitcase can hold many a thing and is a great with handles so you can lug it around easily :)

  24. i'm SO happy our paths have crossed......you make me smile, you make me think, you make my heart happy! and yes, here in the chrissy parking lot of friendship, i'm parked......thank you for keeping a special spot open for me, sweetness! oxo, :)))))

  25. What a beautiful and thoughtful post. I have been thinking a lot about friendships lately. About what type of friend I am. How to nurture the friends I have. And how to make friends that live closer to home.

    You are such an incredible friend. I am so honored to know you and have you in my life.

  26. Friendship requires a truly open and understanding heart. I try and be present with my heart.

  27. What a perfect picture to match these great questions. I hope that my friends, my family & loved ones know these very things. That I'm here for them 24X7 at anytime!

  28. to be a good friend: i learned to love myself. first and foremost so that i could be a better friend. it really-really helped!

    chrissy, i've known you for appx 3-4 months and you've been a huge light in my life! you shine-shine-shine golden globes of luminous bliss that uplift me so.

    P U R E
    T R U E
    L O V E

    love, carissa

  29. Great post. So happy I found your blog today. Here. Yes. Park.


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